Every year I get myself in such a FUNK the last few weeks of summer and very beginning of fall. I’ve always loved fall, but every year that goes by it takes me just a liiiiitle bit longer to shake my end of summer blues. The last trip to the beach, the last dip in the pool, the last few BBQ weekends – they always make me sad! Those first few weeks where the flowers in the yard start slowing down, shedding leaves and getting crinkly. The days where the sun is shining but it’s not quite warm enough to want to lay by the pool in a bathing suit. It always feels like the end of an era…

This year is no different, and hitting me harder than usual because of the current state of the world and the big, fat, question mark that is the end of this wild year we’re living. This year more than ever, our backyard has been a saving grace. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever spent more time in our yard than I have this past year. We were out there in March, pacing and breathing in the fresh air. We were out there in April, with cocktails and jackets by the fire. We were out there in May, barbecuing and planting allllllll the things. In June and July, soaking in the sun, spending full days reading and slipping in and out of the pool. We were out there in August, staring at the empty pool (!!!) and, quite frankly, sulking. And now it’s September and it’s all kind of trickling to an end. We’re squeezing in as many nights by the fire pit as we can, taking any excuse for a quick dip in the pool and bringing in all the vegetables from the garden that we planted in the spring.

When I think of this crazy year of our lives, what I’m going to remember most of all is all of the nights we spent in the backyard – because that was our highlight. It was our happy place, and our sanity. Yes, we’ve been riddled with anxiety for these last six months. Yes, I hate the masks, and the hand sanitizer and the constant and compulsive hand washing. The toilet paper shortage and the paper towel drought, the long lines at every store, the general feeling of uncertainty hovering over us this whole year. But at the end of the day, the thing that really got us through was sitting outside and just b e i n g. Sitting around the fire with a couple of bottles of wine and a speaker. The overwhelming scent of citronella, but still swatting away at all the mosquitos. Playing cards with our friends. Barbecues with our family. And all the laughs that came along with all of those late nights on the deck. I’m extra sad to see all of that go this year.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the cooler weather – the mornings where you ache to curl your fingers around a piping hot cup of coffee and the nights juuuuuust chilly enough to warrant a sweatshirt. I love when things start winding down from the craziness and the go go go of the summertime. I love when the leaves start changing, and the sidewalks are littered with orange and yellow leaves crunching under your feet. I love pulling out the scarecrows and the pumpkins. I love lazy Sundays spent watching football on the couch with all the coziest blankets. I love this time of the year, but it’s always just a little bittersweet.

We’ll find new ways to cope with what we’ve all been dealt this year. New ways without the pool and the SUN and the fires outside. We’ll find the beauty in these cooler months, too, even if we have to look just a little bit harder for it. We’ll survive the winter, just like we always do and when we finally come out the other side, life will be SO DAMN GOOD! We’ll pick up right where we left off and embrace it all for another summer, whatever it will end up looking like. But until then, you can find me mourning the loss of my spot by the pool (that probably has an imprint of my entire body in it by now.) And being forever grateful to our favorite place during the summer that we just simply, stayed at home.

What are your thoughts on the end of summer this year? Are we feeling excited for fall, or dreading it?

sending you love this week (and every week)

JAK