twenty six
Today I turn 26 and I can’t believe it. Part of me feels like I should still be in high school, and part of me feels like I’ve aged 15 years in the past 18 months. Part of me feels like “twenty-six, that’s IT?” Kidding, I’m kidding. Mostly. 25 was a RIDE.
To be honest, I don’t really feel like I accomplished very much at 25. It went fast and it went slow. Somehow I had all the time in the world and no time at all. Too much time and not enough time. And somewhere in there lies the problem. A problem I would love to fix before next April. I don’t know where the world will be by then, but I hope to be in a better, happier place. I hope that for all of us.
We are amidst a global pandemic. I’ve been living back at home (and still paying rent, how fun) for the last two months. Our Dudley went to heaven last week and my heart is genuinely broken. I’ve had a cast on my foot for the last 7 weeks and a fractured foot since last August. I’m temporarily laid off from my job and trying to collect unemployment – mostly unsuccessfully. I’ve had more anxiety in these last three months than I’ve ever had in my life. And yet, still things could be so much worse. But I’m more thankful than ever that this is what I’m dealing with. I’m thankful to be doing just that – dealing with it. One day at a time, just like the rest of the world. This is 26.
This year I’ve learned how important it is to just count your blessings. To be thankful for what you’ve got, even when it seems like things are falling apart. To never take a single day for granted, and to always try your best to look on the bright side. I’ve learned that there are never enough kisses – and hugs for that matter. You can always always always give just a couple more. I’ve learned how important it is to be a good person, and to be a good friend when your people need you most. I’ve learned that kindness goes a really long way. I’ve learned more about patience and warmth and humanity than I could have ever imagined. But the most important thing I’ve learned is that the only thing that really matters is love. And that you love hard.
So maybe I haven’t done much. Maybe 25 was a learning year, not a doing year. And, thats okay. I am taking that for what it’s worth – because it’s worth a lot.
I say all of this not to complain, or throw myself a pity party – I’m trying not to throw those anymore *wink* – but to remind myself where I am right now. I think it’s hard to be positive and optimistic when the world we’re living in is so unpredictable. It’s hard to think about pretty much anything else. But I think if we can do it, if we can try to see the good in the bad, we’ll all be better for it.
Twenty six will be good, I can feel it. I hope my twenty six will be good for the world, too.
with love, JAK
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